Gun rights are important because if the government ever goes too far and takes away other rights, we can use our guns to shoot them and then we’ll have our rights back.
OK, maybe not that right, the government can take that one away, but if it takes away another one, oh man then we’re gonna shoot the government real good. I may be sitting on a couch now, but if they take another right, well then I’ll do something, and the thing I’ll do is nothing else but shoot some government people.
Politics? Nah, not going to waste my time with that. Protest? Maybe next time, but uh some of us have to work, you know! What, am I going to quit my job? Use some vacation time? No way. Anyway, if they take another right then I will definitely aim my gun at a real living human being and pull the trigger, and I will definitely do this while being totally comfortable knowing that I ended that human life.
They took another right? Those assholes! Ugh! OK, the shooting’s gonna start real soon now. Wow, they’re gonna be sorry. I’m getting so mad I’m gonna buy some more ammo and a tactical vest for carrying extra mags. I’m not worried about them taking another right–just let them try. They’ll see what me and millions of other gun owners will do!
Stop paying taxes, are you crazy? You try it, see what kind of other great ideas you come up with while sitting in jail, genius. And no I can’t reduce my income so that I’m funding the evil government less because I already paid for cruise tickets for next winter, and I can already barely afford all the other necessities like food. Just yesterday I was going to get a few steaks from the store after setting up my new 8K TV, and can you believe the price of food right now?
Hey, what are you doing? Stop that, that’s illegal. We might get fined. Listen, stop before someone sees us. Oh my god this is too embarrassing, I don’t want to be seen near you. You’re just asking for trouble! That’s probably not going to work anyway so don’t bother trying. Look, I mean I like the idea, but you know that the news is going to call you names for doing it, and then everyone will believe you’re really bad, and then it won’t have worked anyway. We can only do this if the news says it’s good. This is lame, I’m cold and I don’t feel powerful. C’mon, let’s just go home and wait for things to get worse and then shoot people.
They made it mandatory to do what to kids now? Oh that’s too far. That’s it. I’ve had enough! Good thing there’s an election coming up, we can vote for the other party, they’re saying so many things I like to hear, and they’re saying it so often, and with such professional banners, and with such good insults against the current party, and even though they’re only promising to slightly roll back the latest power grab that the ruling party is using to bring weird new evil into the world, they really will do more than that, it’s just that they can’t say that they will because then not enough people will vote for them. People won’t vote for them if they get called radicals. So they have to trick people to get their votes, and that’s why I feel confident that they’ll do what I wish they’ll do. You just have to be smart enough to figure out that they’re lying to be able to trust them.
It’s very important that you also vote this way, because if you don’t, then everything is lost and we’ll have no other option, there’s nothing else we could possibly do, we’ll just have to continue sitting on the couch until the government takes another right and then we’ll start shooting government people. After that, everything will just go back to nice normal, which is great because I don’t want to deal with any hassle that would delay my flight to get to my cruise ship. I think the garbage guys will clean up the bodies, or something.
I may be mild mannered, docile, impotent, decadent, noncommittal, and have my personal interests and identity deeply integrated with and dependent on the system right now, but if they put just one more boot on my face, then I will definitely throw all of that–and also my life–away and escalate my resistance to the system from nothing to everything.